Humor

Johnson-George, Tamara A. Player HateHer eBook

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 59:07:01 GMT

At last, a humorous, anecdote-filled exploration of the many ways in which women stab each other in the back and talk about each other behind closed doors

If you exhibit any of these traits, you may be guilty of being a Player hateHER:

You get upset when people don't notice how fabulous you are.
You vow to get revenge on your boyfriend's mistress, instead of him.
You become angry when you see someone wearing the same outfit you purchased, as if it were produced just for you.

Player hateHER shows women why they hate on one another, and, most important, how they can stop! A much-needed lesson in respecting one another and respecting yourself.

Black, Lewis Me of Little Faith eBook

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 59:07:01 GMT

What do we believe? And in God's name why? Lewis Black has the answers. Or at least his answers. He survived Hebrew school and a bar mitzvah (barely), was a sixties college student who saw the parallels between religious rapture and drug-induced visions (even if none of his friends did), explored the self-actualization movement of the seventies (and the self-indulgence it engendered), and turned a cynical eye toward politicians who don the cloak of religious rectitude to cover up their own hypocrisy. What he learned about the inconsistencies and peculiarities of religion infuriated Black, and in Me of Little Faith they get his full comic attention. In a series of comedic inquiries, Black explores how the rules and constraints of religion have affected his life and the lives of us all. Hilarious experiences with rabbis, Mormons, gurus, psychics, and even the joy of a perfect round of golf give Black the chance to expound upon what we believe and why-in the language of a shock jock and with the heart of an iconoclast.

Rea, Douglas Mobile Trek: Because No One in Space Can Hear You Dial (Adobe Reader) eBook

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 59:07:01 GMT

You won't feel the same way about a call centre again. If you do have to call one, please refrain from sniggering at them. Captain Pilchard battles the call centre's of the Krapulans, defeating them and forming a communications alliance. From there they battle the Bornagain and defeat them by crippling their international roaming rights. They go on to negotiate with the Phoebians over their ability to transport any object via a mobile phone to anywhere in the universe, which they call 8G. Through all this Pilchard dreams of retiring to his ferret farm in Edinburgh with Dr. Heavenly Nutsacraken.

Maltese, William Catalytic Quotes eBook

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 59:07:01 GMT

A WORLD OF "WHAT-IF"s...

Had Albert Einstein and Arsenio Hall lived at one and the same time, could it have been something the latter said-"Jack Sajak, as an emcee, is square!"-to provide the former with the breakthrough for his now world-renowned equation, E=mc2?

Had The Beatles and Adolf Hitler met, the latter commenting off-handedly, "Yes, I did once get Meyer Rothschild's attention by screaming, 'Hey Jude!'"-could the idea for the former's famous song have taken root, right then and there?

No one can know for sure, but internationally renowned author William Maltese can and has conjectured just such what ifs..

DeZellar, Amy Dating Amy eBook

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 59:07:01 GMT

Dating today can seem like Alices tumble down the rabbit hole into Wonderland. Whether starting out or starting again, women face the difficult task of sorting through the good (guy), the bad (boy), and the ugly (morning after) in their search for Mr. Right. Here to give hope to smart single women everywhere is Amy DeZellar, who bravely dedicated two years of her life to debunking common dating myths and documenting 50 of her dates. Shes gone wine-tasting with Indentured Cats, on a blind date who also happens to be blind, and found her artistic sentiments at odds with her desire for financial security when she simultaneously got involved with a painter named Harry Potter and a NASA super-computer designer named Teflon, all in her quest to find true love. Each of the 50 chapters in this book is dedicated to a different date, and includes the kinds of tips and sharp observations that only someone on the front lines can offer. Get ready to laugh, cry, and commiserate with Amyand learn, as she did, a few things about finding the perfect man.

Cussler, Clive Plague Ship eBook

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 59:07:01 GMT

For four novels, Clive Cussler has charted the exploits of the Oregon, a covert ship completely dilapidated on the outside but, on the inside, packed with sophisticated weaponry and intelligence-gathering equipment. Captained by the rakish, one-legged Juan Cabrillo and manned by a crew of former military and spy personnel, it is a private enterprise, available for any government agency that can afford it, and now Cussler sends the Oregon on its most extraordinary mission yet. The crew has just completed a top secret mission against Iran in the Persian Gulf, when they come across a cruise ship adrift in the sea. Hundreds of bodies litter its deck, and as Cabrillo tries to determine what happened, explosions rack the length of the ship. Barely able to escape with his own life and that of the liner's sole survivor, Cabrillo finds himself plunged into a mystery as intricate, and as perilous, as any he has ever known, and pitted against a cult with monstrously lethal plans for the human race ... plans he may already be too late to stop. Plague Ship is a high-stakes, high-seas journey that proves once again that Cussler is just about the best storyteller in the business. (New York Post).

Sedaris, David When You Are Engulfed in Flames eBook

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 59:07:01 GMT

"David Sedaris's ability to transform the mortification of everyday life into wildly entertaining art," (The Christian Science Monitor) is elevated to wilder and more entertaining heights than ever in this remarkable new book.

Bing, Stanley Executricks eBook

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 59:07:01 GMT

People in the high flush of a successful but sometimes frenetic business career often look with envy at those who have entered their golden years. Ah! they think. To be retired! Free to wake when you wish, to have the time to reflect on the deeper things in life, play golf or quoits, or just go fishin' in the middle of the day. The stressed-out mind boggles at the prospect, and the lip cannot help but tremble and drool.

At the same time, you may not be emotionally–or financially–ready to hang it all up. Which is why, whether you're a withered graybeard or a teeny young future hotshot in leather jodhpurs, you need Stanley Bing's global positioning system for a sane and pleasantly successful life: Executricks, or How to Retire While You're Still Working.

Bing is the ultimate corporate insider, one who has attained nosebleed altitude and worked long and hard enough to lose his desire to work long and hard enough. Over time, he has watched the power players who have made their jobs into a waking festival of indolence and fun, and gleaned a vast range of executricks they have developed over the years, based around several core concepts:

Delegation, or getting other people to do the stuff you don't want to
Absence, or the ability to get "work" done while not being physically on the scene
Abuse of status
Acting visionary when confused
Intense engagement (used only in crisis)

A wellspring of executricks flow from these simple precepts, including:

The use of the cell phone and BlackBerry to establish a permanent state of simultaneous Omniscience and Not-Presence
Roping off mealtimes as zones of defensible entitlement
Travel as an alternative to work
The art of the nap
Golf–the ultimate dodge
Philanthropy and social activism, a pleasant parallel universe

Executricks is the most precious of resources for those who work hard but would rather be hardly working: a secret handbook that lays bare the stratagems of those who have already ascended to the pinnacles of power. No office, home, or backpack should be without a dog-eared copy. Early adopters earn extra points.

Banks, Laura Embracing Your Big Fat Ass: An Owner's Manual eBook

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 59:07:01 GMT

Life is short -- too short to spend most of it worrying about what you look like from behind. That fact hasn't stopped women everywhere from obsessing over their weight -- specifically, that portion of it resting on their asses. In this gleefully frank new book, Janette Barber and Laura Banks lampoon society's obsession with the gluteus maximus while offering solidarity, support, and inspiring advice to fellow B-FABs (Big Fat Ass Babes). Embracing Your Big Fat Ass encourages readers to accept and love every inch of themselves -- including the lumpier parts.

Origen, Erich, Golan, Gan Goodnight Bush: A Parody eBook

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 59:07:01 GMT

In the situation room. There was a toy world.And a flight costume.And a picture of--So begins GOODNIGHT BUSH, Erich Origen and Gan Golan's hilarious and poignant requiem for the Bush administration. In this pitch-perfect parody of Goodnight Moon, we see a child-like George W. Bush tucked safely away in the confines of his own room with all the toys he's willfully destroyed, abused, or defaced. Complete with "a quiet Dick Cheney whispering 'hush,'" this bedtime story lets us laugh at--and finally say goodnight to--the disaster of the last eight years.

Harris, Robert Fun with Phone Solicitors eBook

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 59:07:01 GMT

If you're interested in real estate investing, you mayhave noticed notice the lack of coverage it gets inmainstream financial media,while stocks, bonds, and mutual funds are consistently touted as thesafest and most profitable ways to invest. According toreal estate guruKen McElroy, that's because financial publications, tv and radio programs make the bulk oftheir moneyfrom advertising paid for by the very companies who providesuch mainstream financial services. On the other hand, real estate investment is something you can do on your own--without a large amount of money up front!Picking up where left off in the bestselling The ABC's of Real Estate Investing, McElroyreveals the next essential lessons and information that no serious investor can afford to miss.

Clayton, John Death in Living Gray eBook

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 59:07:01 GMT

Prudence leaves her job in a California art gallery to marry a young army captain on the way home from Vietnam. She settles into the life of a country housewife at the old Abernathy plantation in Mason CountyVirginia, that is, until her husband is disbarred from practicing law. Prudence pitches in to keep the family finances afloat, first by selling off antiques from the plantation house, and then by welding funky furniture out of cast-off farm tractors and combines. She sells the furniture to the commuters who are moving into the northern end of the county from the Washington, DC, area. When one of her heavy tractor sofas crashes through the parlor floor of the old Abernathy house, a secret compartment exposes a skeleton in a Confederate Lieutenant's uniform. While dusting for prints in the compartment, the police forensic team also finds an expensive bracelet that was stolen the previous year from the house of the rich Yankee who hosted the Confederate Memorial Day Ball. It's possible that the person in Confederate uniform was involved in the theft during ball and hid there after he was mortally wounded by an accomplice who didn't want to share the loot. But it is also possible that the theft was done before the ball. Unfortunately, the local sheriff decides that Prudence had the means, since the safe containing the jewelry was opened with a welder's cutting torch, and the motive, since the Abernathys are chronically broke. A reading sample, author bio, and picture can be found at bosonbooks.com.

Neyer, Rob Rob Neyer's Big Book of Baseball Blunders: A Complete Guide to the Worst Decisions and Stupidest Moments in Baseball History (Microsoft Reader Desktop eBook

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 59:07:01 GMT

"BLOOPER: BALL SQUIRTS THROUGH BILLY BUCKNER'S LEGS. BLUNDER: BILLY BUCKNER'S MANAGER LEFT HIM IN THE GAME. Baseball bloopers are fun; they're funny, even. A pitcher slips on the mound and his pitch sails over the backstop. An infielder camps under a pop-up...and the ball lands ten feet away. An outfielder tosses a souvenir to a fan...but that was just the second out, and runners are circling the bases (and laughing). Without these moments, the highlight reels wouldn't be nearly as entertaining. Baseball blunders, however, can be tragic, and they will leave diehard fans asking why...why...why? Rob Neyer's Big Book of Baseball Blunders does its best to answer all those whys, exploring the worst decisions and stupidest moments of managers, general managers, owners, and even commissioners. As he did in his Big Book of Baseball Lineups, Rob Neyer provides readers with a fascinating examination of baseball's rich history, this time through the lens of the game's sometimes hilarious, often depressing, and always perplexing blunders. Which ill-fated move cost the Chicago White Sox a great hitter and the 1919 World Series? What was Babe Ruth thinking when he became the first (and still the only) player to end a World Series by getting caught trying to steal? Did playing one-armed Pete Gray in 1945 cost the Browns a pennant? How did winning a coin toss lead to the Dodgers losing the National League pennant on Bobby Thomson's ""Shot Heard 'round the World""? How damaging was the Frank Robinson-for-Milt Pappas deal, really? Which of Red Sox manager Don Zimmer's mistakes in 1978 was the worst? Which Yankees trade was even worse than swapping Jay Buhner for Ken Phelps? What non-move cost Buck Showalter a job and gave Joe Torre the opportunity of a lifetime? Game 7, 2003 ALCS: Pedro winds up to throw his 123rd pitch...what were you thinking? These are just a few of the legendary (and not-so-legendary) blunders that Neyer analyzes, always with an eye on what happened, why it happened, and how it changed the fickle course of history. And in separate chapters, Neyer also reviews some of the game's worst trades and draft picks and closely examines all the teams that fell just short of first place. Another in the series of Neyer's Big Books of baseball history, Baseball Blunders should win a place in every devoted fan's library. "

Cutler, Bunty 211 Things a Clever Girl Can Do eBook

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 59:07:01 GMT

The hysterical, cheeky, female counterpart to the smash hit 211 Things a Bright Boy Can Do. If you've ever wanted to walk on stilts, make sloe gin, ride an ostrich, or forecast the weather like your grandmother used to, this is the book you've been waiting for.

Siplin, Karen V. Whiskey Road: A Love Story eBook

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 59:07:01 GMT

From Karen Siplin, the author of His Insignificant Other and Such a Girl, comes a passionate and edgy love story about a savvy female celebrity photographer and a small-town white contractor that asks, ""Where does a black woman born and raised in the big city go when she wants to escape, and what happens when she gets there?"" After one too many run-ins with irate A-list celebrities and their bodyguards on the streets of Los Angeles, paparazza Jimi Anne Hamilton has decided to throw in the towel. But when she planned to ride her BMW K 1200 motorcycle from California to New York, she didn't count on having her cross-country adventure interrupted by a motorcycle thief. After the brutal attack, which sees both her motorcycle and camera equipment stolen, she finds herself left with only her helmet, a few clothes, and a bag of money she swiped from her attacker. Disillusioned and hurt, Jimi chooses to recuperate in a nearby town where she meets Caleb Atwood, a local contractor fighting his own demons. Jimi and Caleb make a mismatched pair: black and white, highbrow and low. But in Caleb, Jimi believes she has found someone who feels as much of an outsider as she is. With Whiskey Road, Karen Siplin again succeeds in giving readers a story about opposites who manage to see what no one else can -- that they're right for each other.

Yael, Aviva No Regrets eBook

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 59:07:01 GMT

This insanely hilarious book examines the greatest development of human artistic expression in the last century: the objectively awful tattoo. Our fearless authors went to tattoo conventions and studios all over the country looking for the cream of the crap. They interviewed all kinds of tattoo artists, from neighborhood shop owners who do mostly religious portraits (like the uber-popular ""Gangsta Jesus"") to highly-paid celebrity tattoo artists known for their elaborate designs and artistic skills (anyone want a life-sized tattoo of Oprah's face on their back?) This book shows the absolute best of the absolute worst tattoos across America. NO REGRETS features full-color photographs throughout, a foreword by David Cross, and a super-hip design. It makes the perfect impulse buy and, with its biting captions, an obvious purchase for Vice-crowd hipsters, tattoo afficionados, and anybody who likes a good laugh and/or scare.

Shukert, Rachel HAVE YOU NO SHAME eBook

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 59:07:01 GMT

Growing up in white-bread Omaha, Nebraska, Rachel Shukert was one of thirty-seven students (circa 1990) in Nebraska’s only Jewish elementary school. She spent her days dreaming of a fantasy Aryan boyfriend named Chris McPresbyterian, a tall blond god whose family spoke softly in public and did not inquire after his bowel movements. She spent her nights frantically plastering her bedroom with pictures of intimidating co-religionists such as Henry Kissinger and Bette Midler, hoping to repel the Gestapo officers she was certain were lurking behind the drywall.

Even back then, Rachel knew she was destined for greatness. After winning the Omaha Metropolitan Area Theater Arts Guild Award for Best Youth Actress–and imagining herself as the biggest talent to come out of Nebraska since Montgomery Clift–Rachel finally arrives in Manhattan. Intent on making her mark in the glittering world of Show Biz, she isthwarted at every turn by episodes of anorexia, verbally abusive sock puppets, and a certain terrorist attack you may have heard of. She nevertheless soldiers on, as her people have done from time immemorial.

In this hilarious, mordant, and moving memoir, Rachel Shukert tackles topics as diverse and weighty as life, death, love, Jewish paranoia, and errant feminine hygiene products with a fresh and irresistible mixture of humor, brains, and candor, proving that having no shame can sometimes be a very good thing indeed.

“At times bawdy, at times bleak, Rachel Shukert’s laugh-out-loud-funny and gloriously written coming-of-age portrait will remind you of other precocious youngsters with morbid streaks–think of Wes Anderson’s The Royal Tenenbaums and Salinger’s Glass family contemplating their annihilation over brisket.”
–Joshua Neuman, publisher of Heeb

“This book is so friggin’ funny! It’s twisted, surprising, and extremely hilarious, no joke. Shukert is a damn good writer, and there are even helpful footnotes for us gentiles! Brilliant!”
–Mike Albo, author of The Underminer

From the Trade Paperback edition.

Rudner, Rita I STILL HAVE IT I JUST CANT RE eBook

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 59:07:01 GMT

RITA RUDNER is a celebrated and award-winning comedian, actress, screenwriter, and author. Her past books include the bestselling Naked Beneath My Clothes and the novels Tickled Pink and Turning the Tables. She currently performs exclusively in Las Vegas. Visit her online at www.RitaFunny.com.

From the Hardcover edition.

Klamm, Robert W Get More Laughs From Your Laughs eBook

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 59:07:01 GMT

'Get More Laughs From Your Laughs is worth more than all of the 30 other comedy books in my library. Great innovations, all very usable and adaptable!"-Barron Stringfellow

'Your little book contains more practical information than the excellent books I already have by Eastman and Vorhaus. Thanks!"-Bill Ligon

'I was a basket case when it came to doing comedy, until I discovered these techniques and put them together in Get More Laughs From Your Laughs."-R W Klamm

World-famous comedy magician, Aldo Columbini says: 'Every topic has been analyzed and explained. You'll find comedy contradiction, exaggeration, rules of physical action, punch-line sentence structure, dual reality, innocence and believability, timing and the pause, how to build your own comedy characterization, plus comic devices with funny examples. You'll have fun with the game-like exercises included with each chapter."

Whether you become a comic star or not, humor can help you light the darkest corners of your life, heal the spirit, makes friends of enemies, and clear out the cobwebs that clutter.

Get More Laughs From Your Laughs is fun to read, fun to use. You'll keep it as a reference manual. It is a gem that even professionals will treasure.

Ganek, Danielle Lulu Meets God and Doubts Him eBook

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 59:07:01 GMT

A gallery girl's cannily observed and whimsically acerbic romp through the glamorous Chelsea art scene When figurative painter Jeffrey Finelli is run over by a cab in front of the Simon Pryce Gallery on the night of his first opening, the art world falls all over itself for a piece of the instantly in-demand work by the late "emerging artist." At the center of the show is an enormous painting called Lulu Meets God and Doubts Him that becomes the object of most desire. As the artist philosophically muses before meeting his untimely end, "It represents the creative endeavor." After Finelli's death, the gallery receptionist, aspiring artist and protagonist Mia McMurray, finds herself at the center of the art world's most sensational story. For suddenly everyone wants Lulu. Mia, in her clever, clear-headed voice tells the ensuing tale, the details of which she finds endlessly amusing and unavoidably alluring. While she watches a Birkin-toting wannabe collector, a well-muscled Irish artist, a real estate baron, and niece/muse of the artist, Lulu Finelli, duke it out over the oversized piece, Mia, la Holly Golightly, finds her own creative outlet and artistic identity, not to mention love. As The Devil Wears Prada demystified the world of high fashion, Danielle Ganek's delightfully funny and insightful first novel paints the oddly captivating New York City art scene as it exists today.

Nealon, Kevin Yes, You're Pregnant, But What About Me? eBook

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 59:07:01 GMT

At fifty-three, Kevin Nealon thought he had it all: a massive international celebrity with legions of loyal fans; a fabulous modeling career; hundreds of millions of dollars in the bank; and the most recognizable face on the planet. Nealon had accomplished the impossible: a thirty-year career in show business with only limited trips to rehab. But just like every other celebrity, he felt that was not enough. The perpetually insatiable Nealon wanted more, and for him "more" meant a little addition that drooled, burped, and pooped (no, not a Pomeranian).

Now, in his first-ever book, Nealon tells the outrageous story of how he battled through aching joints, Milano cookie cravings, and a rapidly receding hairline to become a first-time dad at an age when most fathers are packing their kids off to college. Offering hysterical commentary about his fickle, often hormonal, road to belated and bloated fatherhood, Nealon guides you through the delivery room and beyond, discussing how his past, his wife, and his neuroses all converged in a montage of side-splitting insecurities during the months leading up to the birth of his son.

In Yes, You're Pregnant, But What About Me?, Nealon details his trip through all the emotional stages of pregnancy—uncomfortable, denial, hungry, sleepy, self-conscious, hungrier, confused, cranky, not-quite-as-hungry but still craving something, sweaty, covered in cookie crumbs—all while struggling to keep his blood pressure down and find the time to read the latest issue of the AARP Bulletin. Wrestling with the dilemmas and fears that fathers have been dealing with for centuries (Can I duct-tape a crib together? How often can I reuse a disposable diaper? What if the baby looks like me and not my wife?), Nealon never fails to entertain with the frequent lunacy and inevitable joy that punctuate his story about parenthood.

Laugh-out-loud funny and remarkably poignant, Nealon's entertaining perspective and his wealth of sarcasm provide a take on fatherhood that is as fresh as it is universal, always reminding you that half the fun of being a parent is getting there.

Cameron, W. Bruce 8 Simple Rules for Marrying My Daughter: And Other Reasonable Advice from the Father of the Bride eBook

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 59:07:01 GMT

"Following the stunning success of 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter -- which was adapted into a TV show for ABC -- W. Bruce Cameron returns with an even more hilarious look at fatherhood, capturing the predicament of the forgotten man in the tux at his little girl's wedding. As Cameron explains, modern weddings are much like royal coronations, only more expensive. Aside from the writing of checks, there is not much fathers understand about them. Why can't guests successfully eat, drink, and dance unless the whole event is as carefully choreographed as a Broadway production? With his characteristic wit, Cameron captures the aspects of the wedding that are the most ridiculous to paternal eyes, for example: . why the wedding needs a theme (this one is ""We're all stressed out"") . why the wedding has to be photographed as if it will be reviewed by the Warren Commission . why the bouquet must include a species of flower found only at the tip of the Himalayas . why the wedding dress has to strike the right mood (which, judging from everyone's behavior, might best be summed up as ""crabby"") Throughout it all, however, a father keeps faith that the wedding -- if not the wedding preparation -- will make his daughter a happy woman. Hilarious yet poignant, 8 Simple Rules for Marrying My Daughter is sure to be a comfort to the legions of fathers (and mothers) who will one day have a daughter walking down the aisle. "

Lowe, Steve, McArthur, Alan Is It Just Me or Is Everything Shit? Vol 2 eBook

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 59:07:01 GMT

Bigger, badder, sharper, ruder, funnier, bestier . . . this all-new companion volume to the 2005 Christmas bestseller IS IT JUST ME OR IS EVERYTHING SHIT? perfectly complements the first book to form the standard reference work on the shittiness of modern life - like a part-work, only good. Entries include: David Cameron, Lemsip, Baby Asbos, Dream homes, the Chinese Communist Party, Chefs' families, Zac Goldsmith, the Olympics, Credit cards marketed as sources of spiritual enlightenment, Nu-Torture, Cornish nationalism, Detox socks, Stag weeks and Politicians called David. Because, if anything, it just keeps getting worse . . .

Sack, Brian In the Event of My Untimely Demise eBook

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 59:07:01 GMT

When Brian Sack's mother passed away, he was left with a letter and a pink cardigan. The cardigan was promptly placed in a drawer, but the letter was pure gold. In just a few pages of fancy cursive, her posthumous dispatch offered the kind of guidance you would expect from a mother to her young son. And while he didn't necessarily follow all the advice, he never forgot how very important those words—and that letter—were to him. Decades later, on the verge of parenthood himself, Brian decided to write something for his own child, wanting a legacy, and not just a pink cardigan, to leave to his son. But far from the usual collection of advice, Brian has written a sharp, sage, warts-and-all survival guide to life.

With quick wit and self-deprecating honesty, Sack draws from his experiences, tapping them for the humor within. Holding nothing back, he:

Gives the skinny on relationships—don't let the woman you love wander alone in France
Commiserates about the death of the meritocracy—wanting to sing doesn't mean you can
Recounts his awkward entry into fatherhood—you'll overcome your aversion to poo
Offers firsthand advice—avoid any bipolar lady with a drug-sniffing wonder-cat
And argues that the Empire State Building is not a phallic symbol—no matter what the professor said

Every chapter takes on subjects ranging from the universal and mundane to the life changing and inevitable. With its funny and heartfelt musings from a father to a son, In the Event of My Untimely Demise is a delightful life primer for all of us.

Masterson, Dick Men Are Better Than Women eBook

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 59:07:01 GMT

Through a process of exhaustive man research he calls ""keeping his eyes open,"" Dick Masterson has compiled a Magnum-size list of the ways men are better than women. It is an infallible compendium of man's greatness, filled with the most egregiously fallacious arguments ever put to words, but with some kind of miraculous, rock-solid man logic dripping like motor oil from every sentence. It is a manifesto more memorable than bullshit like High Fidelity or which Axe baby powder Maxim thinks you should slap on your nuts before clubbing, more chock-full of devastating man quotes than Oscar Wilde with two wangs. Most important, it is the only one of its kind. In Men Are Better Than Women, Dick Masterson dispenses logic from his man mouth into the eyes of his male readers like some kind of mighty mother man eagle with nutrient-rich word vomit. It's a book that makes you feel like driving a train into a dynamite factory and then tearing a telephone book apart with your bare hands, just because that's the way men have always done it. Masterson's chapters are simple and self-contained, demand no commitments from readers, and have an immediate payoff. Men Are Better Than Women is a dangerous work of satire -- not dangerous in a revolutionary sense, but dangerous in that it walks the razor-thin line between cruelty and absurdity. That line is called hilarious.